Is Asking "Why?" Helpful?

We often ask ourselves "Why?" in order to understand our thoughts and feelings. It may render an explanation but it hardly ever inspires change or solutions.

I'll explain with an example:

You're frustrated at the end of the workday.... just in a really bad mood. A friend or family member asks you, "Why are you so miserable?" Your answer is filled with all the reasons that might include your insensitive boss, your cranky co-workers, the inefficient processes or technology that you are forced to use, or your inability to be promoted. You've vented but does your answer change your mood? No, actually is does the opposite. Those feelings are not helpful or actionable so you stay in that bad mood and situation just long enough to become bitter and hopeless. That's not the desired result or welcomed emotional state, is it? The fact is: Asking "Why?" can prolong your misery.

Like you, I've felt and experienced this. One day I carried my miserable/negative feelings into a life coaching session. My coach asked me "What do you want to experience at the end of the workday?" I answered. Instead of giving my current feelings I described a positively different set of emotions. I was then asked, "What will it take for me to have those feelings?" My response was a set of actions that I could take to be happier, to experience something different. That simple question filled me with power not despair or frustration. She challenged me with specific requests and provided intuition from what she heard me say. I began to plan for a different career and I actually met the goal.

Are you asking yourself or being asked the wrong questions? I'm happy to ask you the right "what" questions for you to make new goals and reach life changing results. Why not set a free sample session and begin to focus on positive change and a fulfilling life? 

Tonya Drummonds

Enhanced, LLC

www.enhancedbycoaching.com